Author: Dr.
Jasmine R. Gordon
(Excerpts from my writings on Forgiveness)
What Is
Forgiveness And Why Does It Matter? Can We Truly Forgive Others?
“For God
so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in
Him shall not perish but have eternal life,” (John 3: 16). Humankind sinned and
turned away from God. This caused the relationship man had with God to be
broken. In the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve sinned by disobeying God they
hid themselves from God. The relationship they once had and enjoyed with God
was broken and the glory of God departed from them. God was hurt and as a result, He punished Adam
and Eve. God told Eve, “I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your
husband, and he will rule over you. To Adam God said, “Because you listened to
your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, you must not eat
of it, “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat
of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you…
“By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the
ground” (Genesis 3: 16-19). But, God in
His loving kindness forgave them. “The Lord God made garments of skin for
Adam and his wife and clothed them” (Genesis 3: 21). Don’t forget the
consequences for their actions. God cast them out of the Garden which was also
part of their punishment.
The
action of Adam and Eve is the beginning of hurt,
“heart pain” and forgiveness. Adam
and Eve knew that they did wrong and they knew that God would not be pleased.
As a result, they were disappointed in themselves and ashamed. They hid from
God. God in His divine mercy forgave humankind and reconciled us back to Himself through the death of His Son Jesus.
God’s plan of redemption for mankind is forgiveness.
God loves us so much He provided a way for us to be forgiven and that way is through Jesus
Christ. Jesus confirmed that in
no uncertain terms when he said, "I
am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except
through me." (John 14:6). God's
plan of salvation was to send Jesus, his
only Son, into the world as a sacrifice for our sins. “The Word became flesh
and dwelt amongst us …, (John 1:14). On the
cross Jesus said, “Father, forgive
them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23: 34). That sacrifice was necessary to satisfy God's justice.
Moreover, that sacrifice had to be perfect and spotless. Because of our sinful nature, we cannot repair our
broken relationship with God on our own. Only Jesus was qualified to do that
for us. At the Last
Supper, on the night before his crucifixion, He took a cup of wine and told his apostles, "This is
my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins," (Matthew
26:28). When
others wrong us or we wrong them, we experience hurt and this causes our relationships between each other to be
broken. We mend our broken relationships when we forgive one another and reconcile
with one another.
How
should we forgive?
There
are two types of forgiveness that appear in the Bible: 1) God's pardon of our
sins and, 2) our obligation to pardon others who sin against us (or wrong us). Mankind has a sinful nature. Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden, and humans have
been sinning against God ever since. As
believers, our relationship with God is restored through Christ. However, what
about our relationship with our fellow human beings? The Bible states that when someone hurts us, we are under an obligation
to God to forgive that person. Jesus is very clear on this point. “For if you forgive others when they sin
against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father
will not forgive your sins,” (Matthew 6: 14-15). Refusing to forgive is a sin. If we
receive forgiveness from God, we must forgive others who hurt us. We cannot hold grudges or seek revenge. We are to trust
God for justice and forgive the person who offends us. That does not mean we
must forget the offense. Forgiveness means releasing the other person, the
offender from blame, leaving the event in God's hands, and move forward with
God’s help and sustaining grace.
Biblical
example of forgiveness:
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord,
how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven
times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-times seven,”
(Matthew 18:21 & 22). Jesus
was not giving us a mathematical equation or formula for forgiveness. He meant
that we are to forgive indefinitely,
repeatedly, and as often as necessary which is the way He has forgiven us. And
God's continual forgiveness and tolerance of our own failures and shortcomings
creates within us (or should create within us) a tolerance for the
imperfections of others. By the Lord's example, we learn, as Ephesians 4:2
describes, “to be "completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with
one another.” We cannot simply forgive and then walk away. We have to live with
one another, and the thing that we forgave this person for may happen again and
again. Then we find ourselves having to forgive over and over again which is
what Jesus instructed Peter to do and what we should also do.
This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is
not easy for us. Also, Jesus’ answer makes it clear that forgiveness is not a
one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. His
answer suggests that forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving. Forgiving
is very important to the Lord. As children of God we must continue forgiving
until the matter is settled in our hearts. I
have personally found that prayer
and fasting is one of the best ways to break down the wall of
un-forgiveness in my heart. When I
begin to pray for the person who has wronged me, God gives me new “eyes” to see and a new heart to care for that person. Seriously! As I pray, I start to
see that person as God sees him/her, and I realize that he or she is precious
to the Lord. I also see myself in a new
light, just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. When I ask God
for grace to forgive those who wrong
me I see myself as someone also in need of forgiveness from others whom I have
wronged and from God whose grace and mercy I have need of daily. Honestly, my
heart becomes tender and my spirit reaches out to that person and I am able to
love without condition. If God did not withhold his forgiveness from me, why
should I withhold my forgiveness from another? Forgiveness is letting go of
grudges and bitterness. When someone hurts you, you can hold on to anger,
resentment and thoughts of revenge. Or, you can embrace forgiveness and reconcile to move forward by God’s divine grace and
mercy.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is
the attribute of the strong,” (Mahatma Gandhi). I will submit that this strength
is not physical it is the inner desire or will to do the right thing as
instructed by God’s Word. This inner strength is the presence of the Blessed
Holy Spirit. It is only the Power of God
that can do this forgiving, for, the natural man is subject to failure and
must rely upon God’s strength. In our weakness He makes us strong. “… My grace
is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most
gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of
Christ may rest upon me,” (2 Corinthians 12:9). Courage is strength, and it
takes much courage to stand up and do the right thing, such as forgive, when
the “crowd” is going in the opposite direction. It is human nature to seek
revenge (revenge is sweet), to hurt, to pay back and that’s not Godly. Such
behavior is earthly, that’s the flesh and not of God. But, our heavenly nature
is to forgive and leave revenge to God. “Say not thou, I will recompense evil;
but wait on the LORD, and He shall save thee, (Proverbs 20:22. “Recompense to
no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men,” (Romans
12:17). The
Spirit of God speaks to me saying, “FORGIVENESS IS NOT HUMANLY POSSIBLE IT IS A
DIVINE ACTION.” It is a Godly action that can only be accomplished through the indwelling
of the Holy Spirit within us and our sincere desire to please God that we are
able to forgive. It is the prompting or urging of the Spirit. That
is why it is hard and sometimes impossible for the person who does not have a
relationship with God to forgive or to even understand the concept of
forgiveness. Even the unsaved who forgives someone he/she did not do it of his
own free will. He/she is only able to forgive because he/she is prompted by the
Spirit of God so to do. Then the question is- Does the Spirit speak to the
unsaved? Yes, because any action God takes His ultimate purpose is, and always
has been to bring honor and glory to His name. God is the ultimate source of forgiveness!
AMEN.
One of the most important issues that we all face in life
is the question of forgiveness. We are mortals who will never be free of the
need of receiving forgiveness from God and from one another. There will also be
the need to forgive others, those
who have done us wrong. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus demonstrated the
significance of forgiveness by including in the prayer our request for God’s
forgiveness and our willingness or pledge to forgive others. Jesus taught His disciples how to pray and in
praying to ask for forgiveness and to forgive others, (Matthew 6: 9-14). This request
should be part of our daily prayer. We are required by God to deny ourselves
and take up our cross daily and follow Him, (Matthew 16: 24). Therefore, forgiving is a significant practice of our
daily Christian walk. Forgiveness is a choice that we make which is grounded in
our obedience to God and His command to forgive. The Bible instructs us to
forgive as the Lord forgave us. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at
the alter and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave
your gift there in front of the alter. First, go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift,”
(Matthew 5: 23-24). When
someone wrongs us it causes hurt,
therefore, we must go to them and reconcile even without their request or
asking for forgiveness. For, when we forgive, not only do we free our offender
but we also free ourselves in the process.
Points to
remember about forgiveness:
- Forgiveness is not forgetting. To forget
does not mean that you have forgiven the person.
- The pain may not be completely
gone. The remembrance of the event may be emotional. One can forgive
and still grieve a loss or feel pain from a wound or hurt caused by the
wrong done to you. That is the human part of us, it is our humanity.
- Damage (hurt) and wounds can take time to
repair or heal, the scar will still be visible, but it does not mean you
have not forgiven the offender.
- Forgiveness does not deny responsibility
for the behavior. When you forgive you have simply committed to not
hold the other person in debt. “Forgive us our debt as we forgive our
debtors,” (Matthew 6: 12).
- When
you forgive you relieve yourself of the burden of the past. You shed
the hurt, pain, anger, and loneliness. Now, you can begin to heal. Healing
begins after forgiving.
- When
you forgive, you give the person you forgive, even yourself, the freedom
to live in peace and to be able to change for the better.
- Forgiveness
is love, the love of God towards, our love for God and our love for each
other.
Praise God for the plan of redemption which is forgiveness. May we
all as children of God strive to forgive others daily as God has forgiven us.
To be continued- Dr. Jasmine
R. Gordon Ministries:
“Rivers of Living Water Where God Heals”
Dr. Jasmine R. Gordon
Dr. Jasmine R. Gordon Ministries: By Evangelist, Rev. Dr. Jasmine R. Gordon
